The verdict is in: She needs a rebuild.
I suppose we already knew that, but heres what we found:
Your typical wear in the cylinder bores:
And a decent score in the #2 cylinder:
All the other cylinders look decent, so i flipped it over and pulled the pan.
The oil pump screen is nice and clean, and so was the pan. Spun the motor over via the crank bolt, and you can hear the #8 wrist pin clunking away. Its pretty sloppy. So this is the source of the noise. Now to find a machine shop willing to work on this thing...
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