the forensick archives

21.08.07 - eight month update - reptillikus

So weve now been in PA for about eight months.

Overall it has been good. The people are alot cooler, and there are tons of gearheads everywhere, and alot less snotty jew bastards. Its kinda cool knowing i can go pretty much anywhere and find someone with some form of hopped-up car/truck. I think my biggest complaint is the whole left-hand exits, cuz everyone just kinda cruises along on the left lane, instead of speeding like an asshole like everyone in jersey does, so i do tend to still get angry at lots of people for not speeding in the fast lane, but oh well. At least most of them here have the courtesy to get the hell outta your way when you downshift and the engine is screamin so loud they cant hear their stereo!

The job scene is lookin up as well. Yesterday was my last day at the store, and today my last at the foundry. Tomorrow i have off, and then thursday i start with my new employer Timet, who is starting me at just about the same i was making at both jobs combined, which is sweet! Timet manufactures aircraft grade titanium. They dont make parts, they take recycled metal, melt it down, purify it, and then ship 30,000lb ingots to their customers all over the world. Its a pretty cool process i think; ill have to do a more in-depth post as to how it all goes down after im there for a week or two.

So between working both jobs (which i no longer have to do) ive been tinkering with bronco, which i guess isnt really a bronco anymore! Heres a few pics to give you the basic idea, but you can follow the build-up in the forum here:

So while i may not have posted in some time, dont think i havent been busy!

08.06.07 - Impulse Product Review!!! - Elfstomper

Some people are Doctors, others are Mechanics. So far, the only thing I can truly call myself is a " Consumer Whore". Whether the packaging is funny, promises me something it can provide that I know it can't or is just plain ol' shiny in texture...I will buy it. This process gets costly at times, so to help out the .7 people per month that read my blogs, here is a list of some things that are truly awesome, and others that will make you think you should have just flushed the cash you used to pay for the item in the toilet.

1. McCain 'Smiles' " Crispy Outside, Mashed Potatoes Inside!"
STATUS: ROCKS!!!

Essentially, these are mashed potatoes inside a crust shaped like a smiley face. Not only do these taste better than any potato product that I have ever tried, they are down right fun to play with!!! There I am , sitting with my plate of smiles and various dipping sauces , painting the faces and then eating them. Sometimes Ill even shove ketchup in one eye hole to make it look like the smile was in a crazy ass accident, or ill have some dripping out of his forehead or mouth to simulate a deranged psycho killer or victim. I then play the part of the cannibal, Zombie or T-rex and devour the thing. Why did I buy it? The packaging is silver-shiny, loaded with smiley faces and little kid font lettering. Its also sells at a very reasonable price. WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN !!!!!!!

2.The Ataris new album "Welcome the Night"
Status: SUCKS

I was walking through the entertainment section at your local favorite Big-Box-Mart when I spotted this on that rack. I thought WOW !!! the ataris!! I love that band! And I meant it! I had loved everything that band has done since their conception. Notice the past tense? Holy crap did this thing throw me for a loop! The band changed their image. Now I know wrestlers change their image all the time to keep the audience interested, but with bands?!?! come on there are 700,000,000 bands out there!!! If a fan like how you sound, roll with it. But the ataris were like " WOW LOOK AT ALL THE EMO KIDS!!!! LETS GO EMO!!! not just screamo either....lets go full blown pussy emo!!!" I can only imagine that was how the brainstorm session went at the studio. Obviously im pretty mad that the band I really liked turned to the shadow realm, and that I spent $12 on an album that could have rightfully went to like 1/8 a tank of gas. The only reason I didn't immediately ebay this album is I like the songs "connections are more dangerous than lies" and "new year's day" which sound more like left overs from their last album. 2003's " so long, astoria" and ironically are the only 2 songs on the album produced by the ataris. Ohh well. Hopefully they release another album by 2015 that actually rocks.

3.Target Brand mini sandwich crackers -cheese naturally flavored-
Status: SUCKS

This was a supreme impulse buy. I was near the register... I was hungry ... these were cheese n cracker mini sandwiches... they were 1.99. Yada Yada Yada. So i bought them. And ate like a third of the box. THEN..... I read the nutritional info. I nearly sharted all over the back of my pants. I just dont understand how in a world so against trans-fats, where every company and their mothers are refining their processes to eliminate them, that this product can exist! It is suggested that the human body should not have more than 2g of trans fat per DAY... here I am eating these things, which have 3g for EVERY 9 (ritz bitz sized) cracker sandwiches. Who can eat 9 of these things and be satisfied?!?! who can eat 40 of these things and be satisfied?! Crap !!!! I mean , why not just put Turpentine in some bottled water and throw it on the impulse rack!!! WAY TO GO TARGET!

Since I had tons O fun writing about these products. I will hence-forth irregularly post about more stuff that finds its way onto my credit cards.

29.12.06 - done the deed - reptillikus

Well, its official! AS of the 22nd me & Dawn are now married! Its kinda weird, but not really. Its strange to say 'wife' instead of fiance or girlfriend, but ya get used to it i guess. We had a small wedding with close family and a few friends, which worked well cause apparently weddings are crazy expensive. Its kind of a stress relief for it to be over, since there is sooo much crap that needs to be done in order to get married. Endless amounts of forms & paperwork to be filled out, gotta meet with tons of people to discuss tons of stuff, its just a big headache. But anyways, it all went well and we are now moved into the new house in PA!
Theres lots of stuff to do to the house too; the garage it seems has only one outlet in the whole thing and its 2-prong, so im gonna have to run a fresh circuit out there and put em in everywhere. Inside there is a built-in computer desk with these huge shelves in the basement; i am using the shelves for my massive cd collection, but they need to be re-spaced to maximize the space. The rest of the house is in surprisingly good shape and really needs furniture more than anything else.
Its nice & peaceful out here too. Its a big change from the franticness of living in monmouth county. Everyone seems more laid back, altho i have noticed that people seem to be di8cks to ya on the road when they see you have a NJ plate! Gonna have to get PA ones soon so we can blend in better!
As an added bonus, the neighbors that we have met seem pretty cool. Laid back people that own quads and like to party; thats my kind of neighbor! They should get a good indication of what kind of people we are when i bring the diesel & bronco home tomorrow!

20.11.06 - im out like a fat bitch in dodgeball! - reptillikus

The time has come for me to say farewell to this place.......and move into my own! Next friday (the 30th) if all goes well me and Dawn will be closing on our new house!!!!!!!!

We found a nice place out in Reading, PA. Little colonial with a basement & attic, and a small one-car garage that was converted to a workshop with a (as i recall) nice workbench and shelves and stuff in it. Anyway, words are boring, so heres some pics dawn snapped when we went to go take a look at it. Houses are crazy cheap out in PA! I think this woulda costed double what we're paying if it was in NJ.

The house is the last on a dead end street :cool the yard is shaped like a triangle, with the street in line with the right property line, and the driveway on the left (so youd turn left into the driveway, but go straight if you want to, say, park a trailer in the grass). The house is set to the left which leaves most of the yard to the right open.

theres a concrete pad where the picnic table is

Directly behind the house; privacy fence next to the neighbor. The neighbor on the other side is down in a valley and so is basically un-noticeable. Behind the property is some kind of nursery, so no neighbors there!

Got a nice shed in the backyard

The living room

extension of that; the living room is technically thru that large opening on the left. Access to second bedroom, bathroom, and closet w/ ladder to attic would be thru the doorway facing forward in the pic. To the right would be the way to the kitchen

The main section of the kitchen

the second half of the kitchen, on the other side of the wall on the right in the previous pic

from the kitchen to the backyard

the dining room, opposite of the bedroom i mention previously

bad shot of the bathroom

some bedroom pics

the basement is the standard issue square unfinished basement w/ central drain. I think my computer will be living there. No pics of the small 'garage' as the realtor couldnt get the lock off, and when i did dawn was nowhere to be found. Oil heat, public sewer, private well. Blacktop driveway that's two cars deep, one car wide, but there is plenty of parking on the opposite property line for the bronco, trailer, diesel, and a few more projects :toothless Ill probbaly build a shop out in that corner in a couple years if we decide to stay there longterm. So far all the paperwork has been going well, they didnt find anything wrong when the inspections were done, and we didnt see anything that needed to be fixed when we looked at it. The only thing is its a little small, but we dont need much room right now anyways. It would be easy to build off the right side of the house should we feel so inclined to do so though, so im not worried about it right now. So if all goes well, in two weeks well be happy new homeowners in PA!

01.08.06 - It really is true ya know - reptillikus

Why is this?

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

You call me Whiteboy, Cracker, Honkey, Whitey, Caveman and that's ok.

But when I call you, ******, Towelhead, Sand-******, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.
If we had white history month, we'd be racists.
If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US, yet if there were "White colleges" that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

I am proud.

But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

21.06.06 - Holy Crap! MEMORIES - Elfstomper

So I was going through some fun stuff after the move the other day and found this Gem, "the increadible story book!".
I cant belive we were like this in highschool, but i guess somethings never change!!!! Check out this exerpt from the book, written by myself , Reptillikus and Jay C.

(Note i had a real hard time figuring out the handwriting on some of the words, and punctuation is non-existant, so i tried to keep it true to its original form!)

In 1938, in a building in upstate New York, in this really cool penthouse type place where guys and the occasional girl get laid all day. This one chick with extra super bug tits was having sex with some vegetables. The carrot that she had sex with was only one of the vegetables she got extremely horny from. There were other ones , like tomatoes and radishes and the occasional hamster. She liked the hamster the best because it gave her and extremely tinglely feeling in her cunt. She liked this feeling and just as she was getting moist, the hamster fell out because it got to slippery, that’s when her mom barged in!
“Hey! What are you doing with my erotic hamster!” she cried “Im …uhh…. Getting a tingley feeling in my cunt, but it got too slippery and it fell out!” “Ohh she’ll do that, she is a lesbian hamster you know, she gets slippery when you do!!” (exclaimed her mother). Next she , like, showed her how to do it , and it was cool. So…. Uhh… this girl and her mother decided to breed lesbian hamsters, but something went wrong, and like, these hamsters got stuck and they lived fuzzily every after.

18.02.06 - Typical - reptillikus

Snow!
Finally getting somewhere with the truck. So the other one gets jealous and starts to leak gear oil out of both axles. Well, you cant cut corners on the DD/tow rig. Replace both axle seals on the Sterling in the back of the p/u, cleaned up the diff cover and put some fresh oil in. No problem. The Front is a bit more involved, since you have to remove the carrier (and therefore everything else) to get to the oil seals. So i start to take it apart. Get the left side stripped dow to the spindle but the mother just wont come off. Dan shows up and we fuck with it for an hour, but she just wont budge. We noticed that the outer wheelbearing was a bit loose, and as such deemed they required replacement. Cant skimp on the tow rig, right? So we go to get bearings & hub seals. Come back, and keep pounding away on the spindle, but it just wont come off! By this point weve realized the lower balljoint is a tad loose (ok its shot). Well, it seems silly to not replace them, especially when the front end will be stripped down to the point where we can. So another trip to the parts store we make! But first, put the truck back together, we're bringin it to Dan's.
It must be nice having a big garage.I havent been able to pull any vehicle i own into our garage for a good four years now. But wouldnt ya know it, the p/u truck fits with room to spare in his! Talk about convenient. It woulda sucked doing the whole job outside. Especally considering.....
So we started taking the truck back apart again. Couldnt get those damn spindles off though! We fought with them for six hours before we got both off. And wouldnt ya know it? the spindles seals are torn, and the bearings are shot. Unbelievable! So anyway its now 11pm, and i still dont have the axle apart. Well, its a simple task to pull the axle shafts & carrier seals out, so we do. HOLY CRAP is there alot of crap
in the axle tubes! They were packed from the knuckle to the seal with sand. Completely. The shafts had a hole in the middle of the sand where they fit. No wonder the diff seals were leaking! Dan pulled the carrier out, and then we popped the seals out and started cleaning the tubes. We got most of the sand out and decided that it was midnight and that was good enough for one night.
Sunday morning i called everywhere looking for spindle bearings & seals. Ended up going to good ole napa to get em. Imagine my surprise when they hand me wheel bearings! Whoa man, i need spindle bearings. he looks em up & sure enough, theyve only got one. But wait, theres a rebuild kit! So he pulls that out, and its the bearing & both seals. And he's got two. Salvation! So off i go.
Its freakin 11am already, and im just starting on the truck. Worse yet, the news man is calling for snow. No time to slack now, gotta bust this out. Right off the beat i spent close to two additional hours cleaning the axle up. Then i had a few problems, like the lower balljoints being too big for the balljoint tool so i had to cut the stud in half so they would fit. Got the knuckles back on, and then had to fudge it a bit with the ujoints because they were too big for the tool too. But i got em changed. At this point, they were the only thing left that wasnt being changed, and they were kinda loose. So why not? That was another trip to the autoparts store, this time by bryan though, on his lunch break.
So i get the ujoints back together, and we start putting the whole thing together. Unfortunately, we had knocked the spinle studs out of the knuckle in order to get them off last night, and then forgot to put them back on the p.s. before we seated the balljoints, which cost us alot of time because you cannot get that lower one in; the inner knuckle is totally in the way. Barring that problem, the rest went fairly painlessly, and we managed to have the truck done around 915. A quick test ride down the street confirmed it was good, and then it was parked for the night. Me & dan had to be up and ready to go plowin in six hours!

18.02.06 - A Two Part-er, How Typical - reptillikus

Its sunday, its 330am, and me & dan are in his jeep as were on our way to his uncles, and its snowing like a motherfucker. Weve already got a foot on the ground and it doesnt look like its gonna stop anytime soon. Finally get all the trucks loaded up and roll out around 4. The day is mostly uneventful. Sorta. It snows until around 10am, dropping a full 21" on us. We had to plow almost every lot twice because if how heavy it was coming down. The plow Dan is running breaks (wont go up or down). Dan's cousin Brian bends his plow frame so he cant lift his. Dan's truck blows a sparkplug in half ('97 F350, 460) sometime sunday night. I heard someone *coughdancough* got stuck on some RR tracks, which caused someone else *coughbriancough* to get stuck on them, and ended up being there for four hours before they got it out. And their bronco almost got hit by a train.
I got in 13 hours, dan & the others put in about 26. We went out again on monday & tuesday to finish up clearing the lots & sidewalks, which worked out great cuz it paid for all the parts i just replaced on the diesel. Then, in typical NJ weather, it got warmer & warmer until friday when it hit 62º. And then poured for 2 minutes. So the snow is gone, and its now 30º again. Typical.

22.11.05 - Where the hell I go? - Elfstomper

H A P P Y ---- T H A N K S G I V I N G

Makes you think, what do I give thanks for... THIS SITE! Its been a year since Ive posted here, and frankly I miss it. So to get back into the habit, starting next week, Im going to start writing reviews on the latest movies and CDs ive purchased or seen, because alot of them really! and I mean REALLY suck, and you the public deserve to know what sucks so you can save your money.Plus I cant stop spending my money that I technically dont have. It wont just be bashes - Ill put the good stuff up there too!
Who knows mabey Ill even write about fat women again. Start checking in! ill put new crap up every tuesday around 12:30pm. Unless Reptillikus flushes my crap down the toilet. Then you will just see a swirling load of crap.

With love and turkey giblets - Elfstomper

11.09.05 - hibachi-tamogachi-wachi - reptillikus

Went to go see The Exorcism Of Emily Rose on friday. Overall, a good movie! The story was told a little differently than i thought it would be, but i suppose they did that on purpose. Dont want it to come out as an Exorcism rehash, right? Actually, it was a very clever way to do it.
Jennifer Carpenter played Emily Rose, and she did a great job of it. Actually, come to think of it, i think all-around they had a great cast for the movie. Id definitely rtecommend seeing it if your into that kinda stuff. Just dont go on opening night (too late now i guess) like i did or youll find yourself yelling at people in the theater to shut up because you cant hear the movie. But other than that it was good.
then last night i went out for Hibachi for the first time. Craziness! Well, maybe not. but it was pretty cool. The place is called Mt Fuji. It somewhere in NY, ~20 miles off the NJ border. bascially, take the Parkway till youre in Ny, and youre on the right track. You come up on the place and it has this huge traditional japanese gate entrancy thingy surrouding the entrace. Looks just like its out of ancient japan. From there its like a quarter mile up this windy road to get the the entrance. Imagine my surprise when i saw the sign that said Valet only! Yeah, maybe this place is a little upscale for a pair of jeans & a flannel. Maybe too upscale for a jacked-up pickup truck too. The lady who tagged the truck couldnt reach the windshield! Fortunately they had someone a bit taller to park the truck. The whole place looked like something right out of a history book, or a bad flashback. There was even a small fish pond outside the place, which you could view from either some tables inside, or the small bridge that passed over part of it.
Inside the place looked, well, cool. There was a shitload of pictures all over the walls in the entraceway from when famous people came to eat there. Beyond that it was more tradional looking. Weird japanese faces on the walls, and the walls/roof were finished to look traditional.
We were sat at a hibachi table where we awaited our chef/food. The whole 'show' was pretty interesting, with wild food & utensil tossing, and wacky quotes from 'typical' american culture. He even made a volcano out of an onion and set it on fire!
The food was great, too. Start with an appetizer of shrimp, then you get fried rice & noodles with vegetables, and then your main course, all of which is cooked directly in front of you. Then, if youve stil got some room (most didnt) there is dessert, which is sherbert. Excellent! At one point early on in the evening, Joe revealed to the Chef that it was Jamy's birthday, and later on in the meal a lady came out w/ a guy dressed in a drago suit, and they sung happy birthday to him! He even got a candle in a tall vase w/ flowers to blow out, but instead of cake got what appeared to be a slice of some badass pineapple.
All in all, the place is awesome, and id go there again, except for one thing. Its about a hundred miles one way, and thats just too damn far to go for food.

08.08.05 - Quitting my job? - reptillikus

Tomorrow is probably the big day!

July 29th (2 fridays ago) the bossman said he 'had a proposition for me'. thats never a good thing. So at the end of the day he finally caought up with me, and again (this is the third time over the past year) he tried to convince me to ditch my hourly wage and go to a straight comission base for the service calls i did. Had it all figured out, how much id get oer call, how much for parts, etc. Like a typical salesman he threw his pitch (but of course i dont fall for shit like that).
Anyway, he said theres one more week left in this pay period (get paid bi-montly, not weekly) so i can go over it during the week, and see how much money id be making.
Well, i did. Last week i would have come up $104.99 short!
This is unacceptable. Well, today when i got done with my calls he handed me a comission slip. I said 'Im not working comission.' he said 'why not?' i said, 'Cuz i dont want to'. To which he replies, Well, your refusal is noted. but i guess we'll have to re-evaluate the way things are done around here. i said, 'I guess so.' So he said, 'Well, you can clock out, we'll discuss it in the morning.' So i said 'Fine', clocked out and left.

Now, he is one cheap mofo. Damn is he cheap. Penny wise, dollar foolish, thats him. And i know he thinks he is hurting for cash (not my fault he has the worst salesman in recorded history - no joke), but i suspect tomorrow will not go well for him.
My prediction is (first) that he is going to try to convince me to go on comossion. When that doesnt work he will attempt to find another way to cut my pay. Most likely by telling me (again) that he doesnt feel he should pay me for call backs (ie, a return trip because something is wrong, forgot something, etc). Of course, to me this is 100% completely unacceptable, because in the company 90% of them come from incompetence in the office, either by him, the 'salesman', or the secretary.
Now, i have him in a bad situation. He needs me. I am the only service tech he has. So i do 90% of all the calls that come in. The installer picks up some, but he is training someone else to do installs, so he only can when he doesnt have anything to do. So naturally i wont budge, and im sure after workign with him for almost three years, he should know that.
So yeah, tomorrow morning ill be going in to work, all fired up and ready to let loose, and then probably come home early to start working on the bronco. Of course, i wont have a cellphone anymore (it technically is a work phone), but it is a price im more than willing to pay to get out of there.
We'll see if he bends, but i have absolutely no problem walking out and never coming back. I can afford to go w/o a job for a month or two, we'll see if he can go w/o a service tech!

click here for an update in the forum.

	11.09.07 - never forget - reptillikus
	never forget those who've passed! 9-11-01

	01.04.07 - photochop - reptillikus
	I was getting tired of my current desktop wallpaper, so i decided to make a new one, this time from a pic of the bronco taken at our three day wheelin weekend at Paragon back in November (pics of that weekend are available online here). I also decided to delete a bunch of old 4x4 wallpapers since they were so old. Anyways, the new one can be found at the bottom of this page. Enjoy!

	14.03.07 - bliss - reptillikus
	Theres nothing better then getting home from work at 4 on a breezy sunny 75º day, and leaning back in a chair on the porch, watching the sun set in the foreground behind the neighboring mountain, with some good tunes on the stereo and a six-pack at my side. Life is good!