| 15.12.01 - movies, defrosters, trees, broken bones, windows, tailgates, & john law Oh My! - Bryan | |
| so i'm at my girlfriends house, we want to get a movie
we pile into my truck i don't wait for the defrosters "can you see honey?" "yeah i can see fine" *thinking to myself: "no, i can't see shit outta these windows" then WAM BAM MONEY GRAM i back into a tree. couldn't see out the back window. just the side views. no tree in the sidevies. good. turns out the tree was smack dab in the middle. doing somewhat of a non accelerating 4-7mph in reverse into the tree: spare tire impacts tree bends tailgate tailgate breaks window glass everywhere i stop get out realize that i pulled in straight and angled it over to the side when i parked it. yet went straight on the way out. it was midnight, so kinda dark too. i pry open the spare tire mount, check the brake lights. and laugh. then i go postal on the tailgate. kicking it at least a good 7 or 8 times before my girlfriend pulls me away from it. i step on a foot which feels like i broke a toe. damn toes. always breaking. look at it for a good 20 minutes. hobble back inside her house. pull off the shoe. say hello to my huge swollen foot. oww. hang out for a while longer, iced the foot with an ace bandage too. hobbled out the door. said my goodbyes. drove home in a bad mood. now on the way home i turn onto the second to last street till me house. no doubt my jhouse is like 750 feet from me. i turn onto one street, see 3 cop cars. notice it's 2:30 am. say "shit" and continute on. 350 feet from my house i see john law up on my ass. i turn into my driveway, he throws on his lights. his buddy cojack pulls up behind him. he tells me i popped a curb back there. which is funny. cause the turn i made where i "ran over the curb" is a road where there is NO CURB. it goes from road to grass. no transition. no curb. no doubt. john law is lookin for an easy ticket. cojack see's my lack of a rear window and fubar tailgate. they assume i'm drunk. make me stand on one foot (mind you it's 2am, i worked a 10 hour shift, and broke my foot, yet i have to stand still on one foot till i count to 30 and he says OK. oh, and by the way, it was windy as hell that night too) so i'm standing on the sidewalk right outside my house taking a drunk test. pass the test. they leave. tell me to get it fixed. "gee thanks officers i was going to wait till the snow piled up in the back of my truck, then, after it destroys the interior, replace the window. JACK OFF" walk inside. mutter. call my girlfriend. go to sleep. wake up. go to my job. barely hobbling. tell them i can't work today. go home. eat breakfast. call matt. go to the bank. wake up brother. go to junkyards. buy 100$ replacement window. fail to repair tailgate. install window. call it a night. and here i am now. ice pack on my foot. another one in the freezer cause i been here a while. let's recap: "movie? good idea." backed into tree. wrecked my foot. pulled over in my driveway for drunk driving. take money from bank. start fixing truck. ice on foot. drinking a coke. |
| 13.12.01 - updates - reptillikus | |
| So i changed the main font for the website over to Verdana from Arial, cause apparently some people were having difficulty reading it. I dunno, i had no problems over here, but it looks better now, anyway. I added a couple reviews last week that i forgot to mention, and still have a shitload more to do. Also, to all members, feel free to send me cd reviews, even if i already reviewed it. I added a couple more winamp skins, i think four. Also, i am working on re-doing the 'wheels' section, under the visual section, so all members, send in pics of your cars/trucks/suv's now! I will not take no for an answer! Yeah, and i updated the pics of my truck, too..... |
| 13.12.01 - Ratslayr praises the site - Ratslayr | |
| I was scanning through the posts tonight and I noticed one that Reptillikus posted on site hits. I must say I am very pleased to be a part of this page. I recognize that fact that we are not main stream reporters and I am not a mainstream cgi programmer, but this site gives me an outlet to bitch about other people, things that suck and a chance to improve my programming skills..
Why do i have attachment to this site and not any other? [No its not only because I write CGIs for it] It is because I can say what I want and feel as I do!. I used to be a subscriber to the magazine Maximum Linux. This magazine was the PERFECT mix of computer lingo and common everyday language. This was the first magazine that I have ever read that openly said all the curse words and made fun of things. It was such a relaxing environment that I actually looked forward to each issue. Anyway, they got so much hatemail from people that called it "unprofessional" that they had to stop production 3 issues in. My point to this story is that all this FUCKING censorship that we are forced to put up with is what is ruining our freedom as americans. Not to mention canceling my $50.00 subscritpion WITHOUT refund because some little fucking pussy nearly passes out from reading the word shit. So in conclusion. Thank you reptillikus. Thanks for the site and the vent time. For everyone that vents and for giving me something to work at and amuse myself with.. Now dont forget us for the next paintball match again :] |
| 12.12.01 - New Jersey sucks - Vyle | |
| I was on my way to work this morning as I always am on a weekday morning when something happened. Something that made my day start off on a note so poor, my boss was afraid to talk to me all day. You see, I was on route 9 up around the start of route 34 when it happened: gridlock. Traffic from the parkway, the 9/35 junction, and the Edison bridge had backed up not to South Amboy, not to Parlin or Sayreville, but to FUCKING OLD BRIDGE!!! I left my house at 730 this morning, got to work at about 910. This commute from Freehold to Edison usually take me 30 to 40 minutes with regular morning traffic. Today: one hour and forty minutes.
Think about New Jersey: we have 47 different area codes because every Tom, Harry, and Lil Susie need a home phone, an upstairs line, a fax line, a modem line, a beeper or 2, and 15 fucking cell phones. And 2 for each fuckin kid of theirs too. Why the fuck does every other 15 year old whore need a fucking cell phone??? Like they call their parents when they stay out till 3am anyway. I sure as hell never fucking did. And all these fucking cars. Every home in my neighborhood has at least 5 cars. Hell, the guy across the street from me has 3 cars, his wife and 2 kids each has one, they also own a suburban, a mobile home, and 2 pickups. Another family in my neighborhood has 3 cars between the two parents and already bought a car for their 16 year old who CANT DRIVE FOR A FUCKIN YEAR. Hwow many 17 year old sluts do you know that need a car??? HUH??? They all get picked the fuck up anyway. Most of the assholes clogging up my commute are going to NYC. In this area we have the world's best public transportation system and does anyone use it?!?!?! There are signs all over the parkway warning of gridlock going towards NYC. DOES ANYONE LISTEN?!?!?! Of course not. They say: "USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION." Does anyone listen??? NO. They are too good for something called traffic. Fucking idiots. Now, to my pet peeve. This aspect of New Jersey gets to me more than anything else. Everyone that knows me knows that I love the woods, mountains, and almost anything outdoors. When I moved down to this shit town, there were trees everywhere, undeveloped land that stretched for acre upon acre. Now, houses and apartment complexes as far as the eye can see. You go try and find a place where there is no sound of major highways or construction sites. If you do find one, it will be gone within 5 years. Here's one better: find me a beach where there is no boardwalk, no concession stands, no noise, and NO FUCKIN HIGH SCHOOL ASSHOLES. Find me a real beach. I guarantee it wont be there in 5 years. New Jersey: grasslands covered with houses, highways, and malls; mountains covered with houses, highways, quarries, and malls. The only undeveloped land left is called landfills, aka garbage dumps. I hate it. When I went to the Poconos last year, know what my biggest suprise was??? WHITE FUCKING SNOW. No salt, sand, blacktop, tire tracks, piss, NOTHING. It was pure white, as far as you could see. We already have the most people per square mile in the country, we have to plow more perfectly good land to make room for more. Where the fuck am I gonna hide the bodies now?? I'm running out of fuckin room here. I hate this state. Two months motherfucker. Two months: PO-CO-NOS. Mabye I wont come back... |
| 12.12.01 - Stupid 2AM - JeZtYr | |
| HEy f0ckers just saying what's up, I just realized that fucking money and sexmas sucks ass, right, I am down to like 7 bucks in my bank account right now, all because I had to buy sexmas shit. right like even if you get the same amount back that you spent on motherfuckers, it's not like you'd ever spend it on yourself in the first place. I dunno it's all messed up, stupid ass sexmas. Wahtever happened to Baby Jesus, and all that good stuff, oh wel, guess it's all about give me give me give me, I couldn't give two shits bout what I get, keep your money and I'll keep mine. Whatever, fuck you and your christmas, I'm gonna go get drunk and celebrate instead of exchanging gifts. |
| 12.12.01 - hits...who needs em? - reptillikus | |
| So occasionally someone throws the almighty question: "How many hits do you get?" Now, i dont mind answering this question, but it seems to me that the majority of viewers of e/n sites consider having hits a social statement, much like what car you drive, or how much cash you have. But what is considered a good amount of hits? For some people, it could be fifty a day. Hell, it could be even ten. But there are the choice few who say they got 1,000 hits today, and then continue to say how their hits are down. Now, we all know of a site like this, but im not going to link it here. I will admit that its nice to know that people love your site, and that you have a large fan-base, but, depending on the site, thats just not going to happen. I dont consider this site to be one of those few elite sites that can boast hundreds of hits a day, and then back it up. I dont pretend to be a news reporter, of some know-it-all who has the dirt on everyone and everything. To be honest, i dont care much about the amount of hits this site gets anyways. Its never been about that. The concept behind this site is that theres always a place where reality has no firm hold over whats going on, and no matter how good or bad the times might be, theres still someone here that knows even less that you do...
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| 09.12.01 - Dead Saturday nite.... - ViRuS | |
| OK,its 1224am and this nite has been just as eventful as slicing bread in a bakery.if anyone reads this before 3....get a hold of me and try to gimem some ideas on what the hell to do... |
| 06..01 - Rat's Stupidity -- EXPOSED - Ratslayr | |
| Ass you may or may not know I am the programmer of TableGen, the software that powers these posts. Anyway, it seems anything i do my horrible spelling comes back to haunt me. Take this program for example. This month we discovered a "December" bug. For the month of december, the month number does not appear on the date above. When re-Examining the code, i discovered that i spelled december's abbreviation DEV instead of DEC.
Well, i fixed things and now the date should appear correctly. Make fun of me all you want, but at least i dont work for Microsoft or this bug would never get fixed.. In fact it would make it into all Future creations.. |
| 06..01 - Windows XP. The X is for Communism [Communist Series 5] - Ratslayr | |
| HMMMM well well well... In reading the earlier posts i noticed vile mention that Windows XP = Communism.. I couldnt agree more. Heres why..
First we have the lies. Windows XP's early design idea was to be the first Windows OS to have a brand NEWcore since windows '95. What ends up happening?? Well scotty, they take one of the best Windows releases since the glass things in your house [Windows 2000]and "Crapulate it" *See Below BELOW: Crapulate- 1] To alter an object as to make it the biggest piece of shit dissapointing thing since the "breast enlargement products".. adj. 2] To be made "easier" and "net ready" by microsoft... Anyway, they Crapulated Windows2k and once again Re-Released an OS and charges $350.00 YES $350.00 for a POS.. Besides that we have the Government,"Microsoft" Keeping track of ever little thing in your life,"Hardware". This is the first time i have ever had a sucessful communist relation in any of my communist posts.. heheh.. If this isnt the biggest kick in the ass microsoft has ever dealt i dont know what is. Once again taking a perfectly working thing and crapulating it. I must say the consumer world scared the shit out of Microsoft though. When XP was released NO system changes were allowed, so nobody bought their software. So they changed it to allow 6 [yes 6] whopping changes to your system before the os stops working.. Pathetic.. But at least they tried to appease the consumer market. All in all Microsoft seems to be a company seeking world domination and the spread of communism.. If you Must get a microsoft os, take rat's advice and follow this guide. 1] Windows 2000 3] Windows 98 SE 4] Windows XP 4] Windows 98 5] Windows 95 6] Windows 3.1 7] Throw your computer out the window 8] Windows ME -Ratslayr |
| 05..01 - Stupid Diners - JeZtYr | |
| Allright last night,s ince I'm on this shit ass 4PM till midnight schedule instead of my kickass midnight till 8AM schedule, I decided I was hungry at about 1:30 so I saw Rept online and was like Yo let's go to a diner he's like allright, I figured something would be open, but aparently in bummfuck fucking NJ out f the 2 diners that we checked both of them were closed before 2AM, like WTF do I HAVE to eat at home if I want to eat past midnight, that sucks shit. I ended up getting a fucking (NON)buttered roll, a shitty hot pocket, and a pork roll(ham) and cheese sandwich, I was not please about this, somebody needs to open up like a 24 hour diner, I used to hit up diners at like 1AM all the time, oh yea another point, right this one diner we went to it was open, but it was full of rednex, and we get in, but no one would serve us and since this guy probably didn't know the correct way to say something cause he was deprived of kindergarden and sesame street, just turned his hand like a key as in "hey I'm dumb I forgot to lock the place so it sucks to be you we aren't serving you" type motion. that pissed me off, oh well just one hint to everyone you might think midnight till 8 sucks at a job but 4 till midnight is even worse, you might get to sleep at night, but fuck you can't do shit on that shift, fuckers. |
| 05..01 - A short musical Synopsis - Elfstomper | |
| Ive noticed lately in a trip to a local record store that there are toooooooooooooooooooo goddamn many genres latly . This pisses me off. So i decided to rant and rave about how it should be in comparison to me.
I like 2 kinds of music. Like and Dislike. Music and NotMusic. why is there no LIKE section AND dislike seCTION? yeah we can have 4 sections like and dislike in the "music" section and like and dislike in the NotMusic section. how does it work? simple. If something is cool , ill say , I like that! THats music! If it sounds alien or arab, ill say , I hate that! thats not music! cause we have all heard music that we get into, then crap that just isnt music, like the other day my friend mike was playing this thrash-punk type band that had this female lead singer. God she was just fuckin screaming. I think i heard like 4 guitar chords in the backround, and they wernt even reapeating them. it sounded like this, BLAH BLAh bLABLALBALBLAL BLAAAAAAAAA(guitar chord) Strummmm BLAH BLABHABHAHBHABHHAB ALBHABL: AHBABL:A strummmmm. OHH god i said, this shit isnt music, hell it dosent even sound like a girl who just impaled herself on a fence,but only worse.For a better example, Think of this --------( Cannibal Corpse, with a monkey playing the guitar,and the leadsinger kicking himself in the balls and then jamming razors up his ass and singing) it sounds like that but a female voice. it sounds worse. Thats a perfect example for the dislike -not music section. Then theres me farting. That goes in the like not music section. ANd then theres Paula abdule.sure shes music, but goes in the dislike section , see how that goes? cool who do i like -----well i like ranting. From AFI to Zebrahead, I suppose i like it all, except for the shit that i really dont like, ex. P diddy, and all other gay rappers that either bastardize english words like "LUdAKRIs" and "Fabolous" or sound like a pet name for your new pet or neighbors baby, P. diddy Or fububaby or NishNosh. I dunno if those 2 exist but they still piss me off. Ohh yeah and any band that is spawned from a TV sitcom really pisses me off to.And just about any band MTV brings up to flood record companys income and give cash to talentless wormhole bands. think i got it all. yup THis would have went into the music forum , but my password still doesnt work , i dont get it. --------------ELF |
| 03..01 - I hate fat greasy Italians. Fat Italians are ok, but greasy ones make me sick. - Vyle | |
| Uhhyuk, winxp is cool, hyuk hyuk hyuk. I believe I read something like this in the forum. A young man who calls himself Pigfucker, I believe, said just this. I am also told he is a fat greasy italian. Dont get me wrong, I like Italians. I like their food, I like their women, I like their black metal. But I do not like their grease or their Windows XP. I dont like American Windows XP either. and I absolutely HATE Mexican Windows XP. I shall make the final argument: Windows XP, in it's present and most likely permanent state, fucking sucks. It is unreliable, unstable, and it eats up more resources than I drink alcohol. (BAD!!!) It is, however, more reliable than Kevin's AND James' truck were last weekend. But Kevin and James arent fat greasy Italians, their trucks arent either. Pigfucker, on the other hand, IS a fat greasy italian, and they suck. But no matter how big, fat, and greasy you are, a man named Mr. Ox will always be there to kick your ass if you eat too much. Windows XP sucks. It is the digital equivalent of communism: overbearing and inefficient, like the clothes washer and alarm clock.
In short, shut your uneducated mouth and stop wasting my oxygen. Under your name it says "n00b". Under your picture in the yearbook it said "Pigfucker". I hope you get cancer. No, wait, that is curable. I hope you get AIDS, but you need to get laid to get that. Go eat ten pound of Chef BoyarFUCKYOU raviolli and explode. I hope you have a heart attack. JENKINSONS RULES!!!!!!!! (I think...) |
| 03..01 - NEED oFF ROADING ASSISTANCE? - Elfstomper | |
| Caught in the mud again?
DONT pANIC! it happens to the best of us. Now you can put your mind at rest knowing that ELF is there!!!! THats right! for just $24.99 ELF will drive up from glassboro to where your lifeless hulk of a vehicle is imprissoned and pull you to saftey. Experience? of coarse! Just look at these testimonials 1. Ya know, i thought elf made a mistake and put his vehicle in drive instead oreverse, but no! the crazy asshole went right over that curb and exclaimed "i make my own parking rules" what a rebel ------JOE CRafa. 2. Elf and I went to the liquor store to buy 40 oz.'s for this ghetto party we were going to and there was too much traffic at the intersection of moster beverage. You can imagine my excitement when he saved us 4 seconds on our travel time and went up a small dirt path and over an apron that was 4 inches above the street! WOW ! thanks Elf. --------CARI Hall 3. You dumbass, i let 10 lbs of pressure out of your tires today, you cant put them up that high , thats why these things flip over goddamn it! ------My dad Dr. Elf You heard it here first! stuck in a rut, call the name you can trust! -------()()() ELF ()()()----------------- Go Ford! |
| 02..01 - Last nite......Pt.2 - ViRuS | |
| well....to say the least, never try to prove anyone wrong when you haveta been there in a while...cuz i was the ass last nite who tried to do such....and i wound up lookin like the fool instead...oh well you learn from it.....jus means more power n bigger lift....(heed my words kev.)all i haveta say is....PO-CO-NOS.... |
| 02..01 - an adventure in low gear - reptillikus | |
| Pt.1 - 'Tug-boating'
it begins on a lonely saturday night. Well, not really. Actually, i was over james' house. Well, he had to go to some birthday thing for a couple hours, so me and ox had some time to kill. So we decide to go check out some trails near his house. Pretty nice, actually. Better than the shit near my house. So anyway, we continue onwards, and get to an open field. Try one trail, but its a little narrow, so we continue onward out, and to the next area. Were out near some factories, or warehouses, or some shit, and theres a gate at the end of the road, but its open. Theres a little hill (a couple feet, maybe 2) to try to stop people from going in, but that really doesnt do much. So, anyway, it comes out to a field thats all laid out for like trucks and quads and shit. Its a circle with an X or two running through it, with little ditches with mud, and hills and shit. Pretty cool, a quad wouldve kicked so much ass back there. So i actually found another trail (!?-go figure) Its actually a wide road, almost, but immediately i had to stop, cause it opens up into a full on swamp, and NO ONE was gonna drive thru that shit. I dont care how big your truck is. So we move on to another trail, it turns alot, and more ruts with mud. Ox utters something like tugboating, and, the trucks just kinda comes to a stop in the mud. I revved ni forward and reverse, but to no avail. we were stuck. we tried pushing it, and pulling it, hell i took this heavy nylon rope, tied it to the hitch, put the truck in neutral, and tried pulling it out from above. Nothing. Ox couldnt move it either. We were officially stuck. So we backtracked up the trail a couple hundred yards, to a pile of 2x4's. Grabbed a shitload and came back. We were gonna try shoving them under the tires, and getting up out of the ditch. So were were gonna be gone to get this shit for god knows how long to get the 2x4's, so i turned off the truck, locked it up, and off we get. So, we fuck with the wood for a while, and decide we might have it. Ox grabs the rope, and hes gonna pull while i try to back out. So i hop in, turn the key, turn off the stereo, turn the key and......NOTHING. The truck wont start. I can hear the starter turning, but the engine isnt turning over at all. Power is fine, lights, stereo, etc, but no engine. Fucked! Then i looked underneath the truck itself. FUCK ME! It would apear that i beached the truck! The skidplate under the transmission was sitting on the mound between the wheel ruts. The fuckig tires werent getting any traction becasue theyre not on the ground!!!!!!!!!!! Im fucking treading water!!!!!! So we try to pull it a little more, and then start walking. About a quarter mile up the road is an intersection wiht a quick check. We'll call james from there, and he'll leave the party that he didnt want to be at in the first place (if i remember correctly), and come pull us out. well, quick check doesnt have phones. But the mobil across the street does. So we go there. I call james while Ox goes to the mobil store. No answer, only james' voicemail. His phone must be off. Fuck! then Ox comes back. He's like, this guy'll do it! Its a guy in his thirties, with a big 88 Chevy Suburban. He was a little reluctant at first, but he got into it really quick, and then was all for it. So off we go. Eventually we get to the truck, and he's like, 'wow'. it looks really bad from sittig inside his truck. I mean, the mud was shy of the tail pipes by only 2 inches. Very close to stalling the eingine right there. So we take the rope, tie it to his truck, he backs up, and SNAP! it breaks. We tie it once more, he puts it in reverse again, and SNAP! it breaks a second time. So i pulled out this heavy nylon towing cable i got, which is only long enough to reach is truck if one set of wheels is partially in the beginning of the mud. he turns around, and we hook up the cable from my hitch to his, but he cant pull the truck. So he slacks it up, and gives it a swift tug, and my truck jump backwards like almost five feet, and the rear wheels are on ground again! One more tug, and he pulls me way up in the dirt, where im totally free of mud. Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thank the fuck outta him, and he's like,wl,, you aint outta the water yet, try to start it. I turn the key, the starter whizzes, and the engine doesnt turn over. Fuck me! So we pop the hood, to expose a slightly brown engine. Could this be the problem? I look underneath the truck, with one of six tructy flashlights i carry with me, for just such an emergency, and 'ah ha!' Six broken wires hanging down, They were clipped to the skidplate, and when that hid ground, it mustve ripped the clip off, and cut the wires. Fortunately for me, i am actually prepared (!) for this. Got my multi-tool on my belt, and a roll of duct tape in the back of the truck. So i can jury-rig it until i get to someone's house, or my own. They're all color coded, except 2 were the same color, so i rigged it all up, and YES!!! the truck starts up! So we follow Jeff (was that his name? I cant remember) back out to the street, and thank him profusely. I offered many times to pay for a trip through the carwash for him, but he refused to take anything from me. the deal was that id have to pull someone out if they got stuck. Done! So, off we go, to james' house. But he aint back yet, so we go to 7-11, right around the corner. I call him and leave another message telling him not to worry, we're at 7-11, yadda yadda yadda. Ox then calls, he gets through, he's on his way back to the house, so we go back to james'. He gets home ans is like WTF!!!! when he sees the truck. Its almost totally brown. Back inside, and we get to talking again. We need food, some of us need cigarettes, and he rtefuses to believe that i got stuck, because he had been through there the year before in his old bronco. SO, off we go, in search of mud. Again... PT.2 - 'I Told You So' To McDonald's! They eat, and off we go, back for more mud. We take all the same trails as before, i show him the swamp, hes says 'fuck that', and we go to where i got stuck. He's leading, cause he 'can make it through'. Ok, heres a little background. James' bronco in an 87, with 33*12.5 tires. Just. Like. Me. But without the body lift. So anyway, he's in 4 Low, tears through it, and just suddenly stops dead in the middle of it. One pound on the gas, mud flies, and you here him say 'fuck', even though im parked about 30' behind him on the trail. So i walk up to his window, and in like, 'I got four words for ya. I. Told. You. So.' He hops out. I turn around, he grabs his chain, and i grab my towing cable. Hook up both, and i pulled his ass right out with no problem. Yeah, you heard me, NO PROBLEM. Suck on that, chevy. Ha! You could see where his transmission dug into the mud when he stopped. So we go around , hang a left, and follow what is rapidly becoming the end of a trail. We are firced to turn around, go back to the T where we turned left, and go that right. Well, it brings us out to the first field i mentioned in pt.1. So we go to the dead end, take it outta 4 Low, and proceed to the nearest gas station, cause when james got stuck, his carb inhaled water, and his truck ran like ass afterwards. 2 bottles of fuel injector cleaner later, its fine again. Well, this Exxon has a built in car wash, too. Holy fucking shit, you shoulda seen the steam that came off of his truck when he went in. So we head back to his house, and chill for the rest of the night. Tomorrow morning i am gonna take some pictures of my truck, and then wash the FUCK out of it. The Moral: Off-roading is cool. But you better be prepared. |