the forensick archives

30.11.01 - Stupid music industry - JeZtYr

I was just thinking today while listening to a bunch of really col mp3s and my Strangeland soundtrack CD that like the music industry sucks relaly cool bands like bile or lamb of god or crisis, whom I haven't heard of in ages, and what not will never really be huge because of all this produced stuff even music like slipknot is big but doesn't even come close to selling what pantera did when they were huge isn't it sad that the largest "metal" band is MetallicA that's jsut pathetic I cannot accept this at all. Why are the larger metal groups somewhat shitty I can't live knowing that creed is classified as hard rock is creed this generations Poison and we will all laugh at them as pussies one day I sure hope so, well I already look at creed as a pussy, I would even settle for a new Nirvana-esque band with lots of agression to get big oh well I guess I'll just have to wait for the usic industry to stop sucking, stupid music industry.

-We are the dead we are in league we are the doctors of low self esteem.

19.11.01 - Rat contemplates triptophane... - Ratslayr

Ever notice on Thanksgiving day.. when the family is over and everyone is done eating... All the males proceed over to the nearest couch and sleep for a small eternity while the women gawk and bitch about the lazy males... That is what i love most about thanksgiving..

Yes you heard right.. i dont care about a bunch of american hippies landing and forcing a bunch of natives to not only feed, but to prepare and serve them.. I mean shit, I swam accross the delaware river and landed on the other side.. you didnt see me demand the butter churning natives to feed me did you!!! [Not implying that all pennsylvanians are butter churners.... Just some]..

Anyway.. Yes good old Triptophane... My proudest holiday achievement was when i got old enough to loose my childhood spunkiness and join the ranks of the elderly males sleeping on the couch..

All in all thanksgiving is fast approaching.. Get rid of all the turkey decorations, the pumpkin pie, the cranberry sauce and all the little trinkets.. But leave me my turkey [my triptophane] and my couch.. Now thats a long winters nap....

19.11.01 - The good ol boyz - Elfstomper

RAT's post pretty much sums it up, but ill touch upon it anywayzzz.

PAINTBALL! I wanna be one of the good ol' boyz drinkin and shootin! I remember al telling me about this little excursion, but i guess he just forgot we existed. Its ok though , cause as of late i dont realize that i exist either.This non existance stuff is tough. Anyway in my temporal void of nothingness, i recently picked up the New album from Flaw "Through the eyes". You know i like to gambel on bands that leave me saying things like, " Flaw? what the hell is that!" and "HAHA what the hell is a godsmack?". WEll kids, like FROM Zero, this cd will cost you a smooth $9.99 and if you can imagine a cross between slipknot and linkin park, then not only are you as dumb as me, youll also like this album so go pick it up! its def. a 8 out of 10 on my list picking up mega points for hard-melodic harmony singing.

Next is my recipe for hate

Boil 6 cups of water
Add Pokemon characters
boil for 10-12 mins.
Strain water out
add 3 tsp. margerine
add 3 tsp. milk
add flavor in pouch with box
stir untill they turn all orangy.

AHHHH SHIT! thats not the recipe for hate! thats the recipe for KRAFT Macaroni& cheese! MMMMMM HATE neVER TAstED so GOOOOOOD!

18.11.01 - Speak english or die - Bryan

so here i am pumping gas at exxon. it's 7:54 and i'm riding my skateboard around waitin for the 20 song rock block at 8:20 on fm93.3 when all of a sudden this ghetto shitbox of a toyota cressida rolls up with this ghandi dot woman behind the wheel. I'll only use her first name, frankly because it's hard enough to pronounce without a last name attached: Afshan. not kidding, that's her real name. so anyway, let's watch the rest in our minds, thanks to our good friend: Dialog.

Me: whats up
half witted ghandi woman:haf
me: ...regular?
half witted ghandi woman: reg-ah (regular)
me: how much?
half witted ghandi woman: one nineteen, reg-ah (1.19 is the price of regular)
me: yeah, i got that, how much?
half witted ghandi woman: haf
me: half what?
half witted ghandi woman: haf
me: half what?? dollars and cents lady
half witted ghandi woman: haf tenk
me: half a tank???
half witted ghandi woman: ya
me: how the hell should i know how much half of your tank is?
half witted ghandi woman: how much would haf tenk be?
me: lady, i have no idea
half witted ghandi woman: light out in car, you fix?
me: uh, no
half witted ghandi woman: fife
me: five regular? alright. but the tank is on the passenger side of the car. (she pulled up so the driver side was next to the pumps)
half witted ghandi woman: *gives me a blank stare*
me: the tank ** i point to the panel where the gas tank would be, had it been the correct side of the car ** is on the other ** motion to the other side of the car ** side of the car
half witted ghandi woman: *gives me another blank stare*
me: ** i motion both hands from her car to the other side of the pumps ** Pull...your...car...around...to...the...other...side...
half witted ghandi woman: * pulls her car right around to the other side, which kept the driver side of the car next to the pump, mind you, the gas tank is still on the passenger side *
me: the...car...is...still...on...the...wrong...side.
half witted ghandi woman: * turns car around so that the passenger side is finnaly next to the pumps *
me: very good ** proceed to pump 5 dollars worth of regular into the tank*
half witted ghandi woman: * hands me a credit card * she doesnt evne have 5 dollars in cash on her. pathetic
me: ** i run the credit card, and hand it to her **
half witted ghandi woman: * takes it *
me: there ya go, nice and easy

and she drives off

come on people, lets all jump on that american bandwagon, go out, and learn how to speak english. save the world some time and a headache.

15.11.01 - god damned people, and cheese, too - reptillikus

So im reading the paper, and apparently theyre changing our area code......again. Thanks to all these fucknuts and their over-abundance of cell phones in this area, theyre splitting up my area code into two numbers. But, on top of that, now we have to dial that area code every time we call someone. But, if its local, we dont use the '1'. So, now, if i want to call a friend who lives down the street from me, i have to dial another three numbers....of course, i dont know where they divided up the area code, so, its gonna be a free for all trying to get through to people, until everyone memorizes the new aera codes again. So, if you are one of those bastards with the cellphones, thanks a lot!!!!!!!!

I have seen the new stupidest cartoon of all time today:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
This shit is about a group of moron super heroes, only theyre a shake, an order of fires, and a meatball. This shit is fucking weird as hell. Actually, the more i watch it, the stupider it seems. In fact, dont watch this at all, its just stupid

...And one last thing....while im thinking of it, i added 7 or so new winamp skins to the files section last week, i just keep forgetting to mention it. So you should check em out, some are pretty damn cool. huh huh, yeah

12.11.01 - Holi Day - reptillikus

This was supposed to be me complaining that the banks arent open today, but then i realized that it was Veterans' Day yesterday, only they celebrate it today, too, otherwise not enough people would be able to take off from work, and that wouldnt be fair.
The past four or five days are pretty much a blur, with most of the time spent at james' (ask vyle, if he can remember), with various breaks throughout. I got a couple new cds, including 'Demonic Electronic', the new BiLe cd and gwar's 'Violence Has Arrived'. Reviews of these will soon be up, but i will tell you this: both are heavier than previous albums.
Paintball! Um, yeah, we played paintball saturday, it was pretty cool. Al set the whole deal up. There was 11 of us total, so we played some small games, but everyone was cool, so they really kicked ass. Ok, check this out: One game, in the afternoon. Were playin on their speedball field, and they have all sorts of shit set up, but whats inportant in this item: a large piece of plastic tubing: It was about 5 feet wide, so you couldve crawled through it, if it wasnt for the fact that it was standing up. But anyway....So im on one side, shooting at two guys, and cant move because they are firing at me. Well, i got one, ad im shooting at another, when i hear a sound on the other side of the drum, and see dirt kick up on my left. Someone was on the other side! Now, i couldnt swing around to get him, cause i woulda been shot, so im like, 'Now what?!' I see him lean to my left, then lean back, fiddle with something, i go to go around the left, then look to the right, and he breaks past me on the right, i turn, he sees me and we both fire. Bam! Both shot, at point blank, no less. We both get up, laugh, and walk off the field. It was sick as hell, people were coming up to us afterwards, and were like, 'wtf?!' cause apparently it was funny as hell to watch. I ended up shooting him in his arm, near his elbow, and he got me in the gun and leg. (He had a much better gun, and can fire much faster (lucky bastard).) All in all, it was a great game. My legs are still stiff, though....
As for james', lemme just say this: alcohol. Lots of it. Read in the forums for more of that story as it develops. Or should i say, as i tell it. Aftershock is a good thing, but some people (james) just cant drink it. As for vyle, well, he wont say anything. Of course, that has nothing t do with the fact that he CANT REMEMBER(!!!!) anything after that last shot on thursday. And oh yeah, Ox is funny as hell.

p.s.- Jenkinsons'

07.11.01 - Ratslayr Contemplating the Stupid nature of ANTHRAX - Ratslayr

Hmmm.. I was thinking today.. To me this whole anthrax thing is horribly over played by both sides.. heres my reasons.. AND NOTE it is tragic, but if you think about it, it just dont add up!..

1. My first discrepincy with ANTHRAX is the use. First off, anthrax was created a long time ago.. Im not sure of the exact date, but i would say back durring the RED SCARE with the communists.. No, this isnt another communist post hehe.. anyway, Do the terrorists ACTUALLY think we dont have the vaccines to this?? I mean come on.. odds are the bacteria was created in OUR labs!

2. Second, it may not even be the terrorists doing it directly!.. i mean sure, some of the cases may be terrorist related, but im sure there are some crazies out in our country just waiting for a chance to get their cookies off and spread a micro-organizm for shits and giggles..

3. Third is the media hype.. This is really blown out of proportion.. I mean JESUS, you have ME talking about it!.. i never gripe about current events.. Anwyay, Here we have a "disease" going around.. how many confirmed cases were there.. hmm about 8 maybe.. How many confirmed cases of AIDS are there??? 1 BILLION Or more! Personally i see AIDS as a much more serious problem being we HAVE a cure for ANTHRAX and no cure for AIDS..

In conclusion.. Come one people.. you are taking this thing WAY too far.. The time to panic is when the nukes start launching, or there is a widespread epidemic going around.. but 8 cases of anthrax and some crazy arabs running are no reason for country-wide hysteria... Put the simpsons back on and cut it out with the news.. -Rat

01.11.01 - the terrorists attack - reptillikus

this was almost titled 'In Memory Of....'
Imagine the fear as pieces of the arena begin to fall to the ground around you.
Last night was The Pledge of Allegiance Tour at the Continental Airlines Arena, in Rutherford, NJ. I know, i know, a concert at an arena, owned by an airline, on Halloween, on a full moon, on the night that the terrorists are supposed to attack. Well, i went anyway. It was a night i will never forget. To hear the screaming of thousands of people at a concert is nothing new to me, but when those screams are happening due to panic and fear, it becomes something totally different. Seeing people running and screaming, and trampling, trampling others so that they can get out first, it is something one does not easily forget. Seeing someone's lifeless body on the floor below you, knowing full well that might be you in five minutes, its just not a cool thought. And then, as people tear out of the parking lot, and accidents are all around you, you think, what did we do to deserve this? Where did we go so wring so as to bring such a horrible fate upon ourselves?! Then your friend taps you on the shoulder and says, 'So what'd you think of them?'
Huh? oh yeah, the band on stage. American Head Charge. Yeah, i guess they were ok, even despite the facts that their 'keyboardists' did less on stage than i did in the crowd. Four of the band members were in costumes, after all, it was Halloween. But the guitarist, his costume bothered me the most. He came out wearing a guitar and a mohawk. Nothing Else. Stark fucking naked, people!!!!! It was after this that i started to block out the entire set. I dunno, i just dont enjoy seeing some guy on stage running and jumping around the stage with his dick hanging out. After they got off stage, we had a short hiatus while they set up for System's set. Woohoo! Cant wait, gotta-see-system-again-dammit-i-havent-seen-them-in-a-while-i-gotta-see-syetem-again! Apparently we missed No One, i dunno who they are, some hardcore band, oh fucking well. Mudvayne dropped out of the tour, so we didnt see them, and two members of rammstein are sick, so they cancelled the show, too. bastards. Im not a big fan of rammstein, but it wouldve been cool as hell to see them live, and watch that guy set himself on fire. But before i go on, let me tell you something about this show. The day after tickets went on sale, mike (jeztyr) went online and ordered four tickets, knowing full well that i would want two. Does he know me, or what? well, it turns out these tickets are GA, on the floor. We were not even five feet from the stage for all of System's and Slipknot's sets. System of A Down played another great set, but thats no surprise. These guys are always great live. Fuck. Lets see, they played, well, ALOT. Basically everything everyone wanted to hear. Um, Prison Song, Needles, Jet Pilot, Multiply, Chop Suey!, Bounce, Toxicity, Psycho, Aerials, Suite-Pee, Sugar, Suggestions, War, and Mind. I dont think im forgetting anything. During Bounce Serj whipped out a pogo stick, it was cool. And they were fucking wasted. You could see it in their eyes. Jesus man, were these guys out there. Their set was just great.
On to Slipknot. Fuck what anyone else says. They were great. They played some great shit, (SIC), eyeless, wait and bleed, surfacing, spit it out, liberate, get this, people=shit, disasterpiece, new abortion, metabolic ( i think), and a couple more, fuck, though i cant remember what they were. They had one of the coolest drum solos ive ever seen, ive never seen a drummer before that needed to be strapped into hi set, and now i know why. During hos sols, his set starting raising into the air, and spinnign, and then it started tilting towards the crowd. Eventually, he was playing the drums, while facing the stage floor. sideways, people! we had a top-view of him while he was pounding away on the drums.
The conclusion:
Both System of A Down and Slipknot played fucking great sets last night. If you were there, you know what i mean. If you werent, sucks to be you. These guys had as much fun on stage as we had in the crowd. You could tell, by what they were saying, and how they were acting. Serj and Corey, specifically. Little comments made quietly to their selves, despite that there's a mic in their hand, so you hear em whisper to themselves how crazy or cool the crowd is. You could see it in Serj's eyes, and well, corey had a mask on of course, but you could tell nonetheless. The crowd did some fucked up shit during Slipknot's set, the whole, 'everyone sit the fuck down, and dont get up until i yell jump the fuck up', by corey was crazy, i mean everyone in the whole fucking arena did it, it was nuts. The circle pit was huge. Im tellin ya, this was a show to remember...

30.10.01 - Washing Machines.. Another Communist Tool? [Communist Series 4] - Ratslayr

It hit me today.. I was just sitting around in my dorm.. wasting time as usual between classes and sleep. Something hit me.. a pungent aroma.. I turn around and notice it is eminating from my closet.. Damn i thought.. I better do some laundry!!!.
I started my treck into the basement of the dormitory, basket in my right hand and bottle of PolandSprings in the left. I began to approach the device.. As i loaded the machine i noticed tons of buttons and levers.. I began to contemplate it's origins..
As i have learned, the washing machine was invented by COMMUNISTS!!! Now you may be asking.. "Ratslayr, why in the world would communists invent the washing machine"... Well petey, im glad that you asked!.. You see, they never really Really invented the machine, they just... umm.. altered it.. The Origional washing machine was much easier to use..
1 Place the clothes in
2 Push the BIG RED start button..

Now we will review the Communist Washing Machine.
1 Force the Clothes in
2 Decide whether it is perminant press or colors or whites or exetra...
3 Turn the knob 3/4 of the way, but not 7/8.. If you go 7/8 you will begin to bleach your clothes..
4 Make sure that you add in the detergent. (the non communist version added it's own detergent
5 Pray everything goes well
6 Find the SMALL start button.

Now the worst part about the Communist Washing Machine..

you wait..
AND WAIT
AND WAIT
AND WAIT

Their goal was to cause frustration, stress and anxiety, enough to cause complete chaos in america... So be careful people.. Big Brother is watching...

	14.11.01 - Ratslayr's Love of paintball.. - Ratslayr
	I love paintball.. imagine my dismay whe reptillikus and 10 other people play without giving rat or elf a call... I mean, im only an hour away i would ahve fome home... FIE FIE i tell ya... heheh -No hard feelings rept.